Do You Have Difficulty
Many men and women have
problems reaching orgasm during intercourse. We tend to think that men
and women enjoy orgasm rates which reflect the difference in their
But the surprising thing
is that when you analyze the data, although men may want sex more often
than women, the frequency of orgasm is not so different:
over 90% of women can
reach orgasm via masturbation and almost all sexually active women
will reach orgasm given enough foreplay (say twenty minutes).
Of course, you may wonder
purpose of the female orgasm actually is - there's no real
reason why women should have evolved an orgasm, as it's not needed for
reproduction. But that's another issue altogether!
Advice for men - if you can't reach orgasm easily during
intercourse, then you may have a condition known as delayed or retarded ejaculation. You can find out
all about delayed male
climax here. This is retarded ejaculation, which prevents you from
gaining the maximum sexual pleasure.
Although men who suffer from premature ejaculation may think this sounds
like a gift from the gods, you'll know that there's nothing funny about
it in any way whatsoever. If you can't reach orgasm, you can't please
your partner, she may well get sore and irritable, think she's not
attractive, and withdraw from sex.
But here's the strange thing - delayed ejaculation is easily cured by
some simple treatment strategies which you can enjoy at home with your
partner. Don't allow this worrying problem to disturb your sex
life any longer - get the cure now, and feel pride in your sexual
Yoni is the Sanskrit word for the vagina and
translates as "sacred space" or "Jade garden." In Tantra, the Yoni is seen
as worthy of both love and respect. This is particularly important for men
Before a Yoni Massage you,
the man, must create a space for the woman in which she is able to
relax, a place in which she can more readily enter a state of high
sexual arousal and come to experience the maximum pleasure from
You will experience the joy
of giving pleasure without expectation of anything in return, and the
thrill of seeing a special moment. The Yoni Massage is a great form of
"safe sex" and can build trust and intimacy in a relationship.
Some Tantric therapists use
massage of the G spot to assist women to break through sexual blocks or
But really, the Yoni massage is not just about achieving orgasm, welcome
though that may be.
The objective is simply to provide pleasure and massage the Yoni, so
that both man and woman can relax, with no worry about achieving any
particular sexual goal. Should orgasm occur it can be more expanded,
intense and satisfying than normal.
However, the giver should not expect anything in return, because as
provider of pleasure, he wants his partner to enjoy the massage and to
relax fully into her sensations.
Have the woman lie on her back with pillows
under her head. In this way she can look down at her genitals as well as
see her partner.
A pillow covered with a towel can be placed
under her hips, with her legs spread apart and her knees slightly bent and
supported by pillows or cushions.
This means her genitals will be clearly
exposed for the massage, with full access to the Yoni and other parts of
her gorgeous body.
Before you make contact with
her body, share some deep, relaxed breathing. Both of you can breathe
deeply, slowly and in a relaxed way during the entire process.
The man will gently remind
the woman to start breathing again if she stops or begins to take
shallower breaths. Deep breathing is most important.
Start by gently massaging her legs, abdomen,
thighs, breasts, and belly so she relaxes and prepares for touch on her
Yoni. Use high-quality oil or lubricant, pouring it initially on her pubic
Pour enough to drip along the outer lips and
outside of her Yoni.
Then start to gently massage her pubic mound
and outer lips: do not rush. Take your time and enjoy giving the massage.
Next, gently squeeze the
outer labia between the thumb and index finger, and then slide up and
down the whole length of each labia. You can also treat the inner
labia to the same technique.
But always take your time and try to look into each other's eyes as much
as you can. The woman should tell the man if the pressure, speed, or
amount of oil need to be changed.
However, limit your
conversation as you continue to focus on the pleasurable sensation,
because too much talking will take you away from the almost spiritual
aspect of what you are doing.....
The Crown Jewel
The clitoris is a very complex structure, up
to four times more sensitive than the penis. The glans has around 8,000
sensory nerve endings, and so is hypersensitive - yet it has only one
function: to provide pleasure.
In a massage, stroke the
clitoris shaft with circles, or gently squeeze the body or shaft through
the skin between your thumb and index fingers. Do this as a massage
rather than as masturbation: if she becomes very aroused encourage her
to continue to relax and breathe.
Then, slowly and with great sensitivity,
insert your middle finger (from the right hand) into the Yoni. Start to
gently explore and massage the inside of your partner's vagina with the
pad of this finger.
Always, always, take your time, make sure you
are gentle, and explore up, down and sideways. As you move your finger,
vary the depth of penetration, the speed of movement, and the pressure you
Always remember this massage is about
sustaining, nurturing and relaxing your partner's Yoni.
Keep your palm facing
upwards, and use your middle finger to make a "come here" gesture, as it
crooks backwards towards the palm.
The spongy, slightly raised,
soft area of tissue just under the location of the pubic bone and just
behind the clitoris, is the G-spot or sacred spot.
When touched, a woman may
feel the need to urinate, experience some discomfort or sense pleasure:
it all depends on how healed she is, and how much tension her Yoni is
As you vary the pressure,
speed and way in which you move the pad of your finger, watch her
responses: side to side, back and forth, and circles will all produce
You can also insert your
fourth finger a well if you and she wish.....
....the majority of women
should have no problem with this and will show their enjoyment of the
increased stimulation which two fingers can provide....but always take
your time and be very gentle.
It's wonderful for her if
you use the thumb of your right hand to stimulate her clitoris and the
little finger of the same hand to stimulate her anus - perhaps even
penetrating her if she wishes.
You can use your other hand
to caress her breasts, belly or clitoris. If you do choose to massage
her clitoris with the right hand, the best way is often to move your
thumb up and down motion while the rest of your hand remains gently
pressing on her pubic mound.
The dual stimulation of
right and left hands (your left hand is massaging her Yoni at this
stage) can provide immense pleasure for her.
You'll want to continue massaging, with a
variety of speed, pressure and movements, but always breathe deeply and
look into each other's eyes. G spot massage often produces powerful
emotions - anger, sadness, and so on, or indeed joy.
Just keep breathing, be accepting - it's not
about you: some women have been sexually abused and this is how they heal.
A caring, accepting, non-judgmental partner is of immense value to her in
this sexual healing.
If she has an orgasm,
ensure she continues to breath as you continue to massage her if she
wishes it. Multiple orgasms may occur, and if you have the technique, you
can make each more intense than the last. This is called "riding the
As you end the massage, remove your hands
slowly, gently, and with respect. Let your partner relax and and enjoy the
afterglow of this wonderful Yoni massage. For both of you, cuddling and
holding can be very soothing and comforting.
The Yoni Massage can greatly
enrich your sex life and teach you a great deal about female sexuality.
However, a word of caution:
if you happen to have a yeast or bacterial infection of the vulva or
vagina, then it may not be such a good idea to engage in yoni massage.
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